Ask Rachel anything

None of us likes blowing a fuse when our teen does something that triggers us, but we all do it at some point.

Nicky asked us to discuss this topic after she felt she'd overreacted to bad feedback from her son's teachers. We know it fixes nothing and leaves us feeling worse than before, but can we keep smoothing it over with an apology?

It was such a great topic to suggest, and when it was first aired I had some amazing feedback from listeners who'd suddenly realised that they were reacting in the way they had been programmed to by their own family.

My daughter also told me that the main reason her friends don't tell her parents anything is that they think the parents either don't care or that they'll overract.

That's why this podcast is so valuable. It gives us as space to stop and think about the things that come to us unbidden, so that we can upack them and make changes that help us with our own relationships.

Long term, if we don't manage to adapt, we run the risk of ruining our connection with our teens because they learn that the best way to manage us parents is to keep quiet, hide, or lie to prevent a repeat.

So how can we stop ourselves from overreacting? We talk through some mindfulness techniques that could make all the difference.

This is also a VITAL skill to teach our own teens.

BOOK RECOMMENDATIONS:

When You Lose It by Roxy and Gay Longworth
The Chimp Paradox by Prof Steve Peters

RESOURCES:

How to Stop Overreacting to Everything by Patrick Allan
https://psychcentral.com/blog/how-to-stop-overreacting#recap
https://theparentingreframe.com/the-4-steps-you-need-to-stopoverreacting-and-yelling-at-your-kids-for-good/
https://www.psychologytoday.com/gb/blog/surviving-your-childs-adolescence/201007/overreactions-in-adolescence

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Please don't hesitate to seek the advice of a specialist if you're not coping. When you look after yourself your entire family benefits.
My email is teenagersuntangled@gmail.com
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You can reach Susie at www.amindful-life.co.uk

Emotional issues. How to avoid overreacting. Vintage

Parenting Teenagers Untangled - Understand and Talk to Your Teenager